Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
