she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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