So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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