Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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