I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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