this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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