did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
