just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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