It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
