Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
