I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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