i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize