I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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