Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
