Already got asked if we're dating
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
