I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
