Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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