Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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