Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
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I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
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Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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