I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
