I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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