man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
