what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I faked an abortion last night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize