Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
