Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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