I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
