dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
