when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I got inside last night via doggy door
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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