So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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