I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
