Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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