saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize