well he's currently spooning the coffee table
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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