Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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