There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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