I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Life is so much better after having sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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