So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize