i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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