It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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