he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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