the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
