This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
