I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
