the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.