Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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