We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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