He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You can't special order awesome
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
