You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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