oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
