Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
