Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
