we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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