my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
