I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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