it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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