had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
