C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
